Wedding Budget

Since I've been blogging about wedding plans a lot of late (two months out!) and haven't talked about my quest to get out of debt as much, I thought that it would be a good time to discuss the dreaded wedding budget.

When we first got engaged and started talking about the wedding, we set a budget of $5000. We thought - hey we'll do it at my parents house, it'll be an intimate gathering of loved ones and we'll DIY a lot. We can swing it. Well I'll tell you, sticking to that budget has been HARD. And we are forgoing a lot of traditional elements and DIY'ing a lot.

We've basically doubled the budget. Still far under the average American wedding ($30,000!!!), but way more than I wanted to spend. The main reason is that when we first created the budget, we had absolutely no idea how much things cost. We could have decided to cut way back or do something totally different, but we decided that we were willing to go over budget in order to have the wedding we envisioned - with the caveat that we would get really creative with all of our options.

Our music will be performed by friends or through ipod ; our photography will be mainly done by friends as well. We made our invitations. I will spend a total of $300 on my entire wedding day outfit and hair/makeup. We're making all the decorations and using locally farmed flowers and pumpkins. Our wedding night hotel and mini-moon are being gifted to us.

I've been looking over the budget spreadsheet that I created and I see a few major areas where I way under-budgeted : travel, alcohol, party rentals, food, and miscellaneous.

Travel We didn't anticipate renting a car to drive home, but I don't trust my car to make another drive there and back as it's just too old. That's almost $1000.
Drinks Once I started calculating how much we'd need for drinks (beer, wine, cider, soda, water), I realized that it'll likely be $300 more than I thought.
Rentals Originally I didn't want a tent at all, but since it's autumn in New England and the weather could be unpredictable I was convinced by family that it was necessary. We've booked sides for the tent and heaters. In the event, that its great weather we could end up canceling the extras which would save us some money, but overall it's still another $750 that I didn't originally count.
Food I did some shopping around and found really great caterers that were willing to work with us on price and around our constraints (locally & seasonally harvested, willingness to incorporate vegan options). I'm thrilled with our menu and our vendors, but even with negotiating, it is more than we thought it would be by about $800.
Miscellany The small little crap just adds up before you know it. Shipping costs for anything you order (clothing, stamps, paper, thank you gifts, and on and on). Ingredients that you run out of at the last minute while making favors. Last minute projects.

Overall, I'm still really happy and proud that we are able to maintain our major goal for this wedding - we are not going into debt over it. Anything we've spent so far (~$3100) has all been up front and in cash. We've got money socked away to pay the balances and family has been very generous with some gifting. Friends have stepped up to help us out as their gift. We've made some decisions to cut certain things and add others - all while staying conscious of the impact on our finances. It's the consciousness of our spending that I'm really most proud of - we're planning something that is genuine and sincere and fun and on our terms.

Coping with the Urge to Spend

One of my favorite personal finance blogs had an interesting reader post today on addiction to spending that got me thinking. I am really proud of how I've taken responsibility for my financial situation in the past six months and how far that I've come. I thought that it might be good to note the behaviors and new habits that have really helped me change.

1. I have been very good about not shopping for things that I haven't already noted that I needed. (I did make a couple of mistakes.) To do this, I avoid the mall entirely. I think that I've gone twice in six months - once to buy an interview outfit. The second time I spent money on items I wasn't planning on and I remembered why I am avoiding the mall. This also applies to general window shopping or superstores. I have a really hard time with Target. I use their pharmacy and every time I run in to pick up a prescription, I have to really focus so as not to wander the rest of the store.

2. I have a short list of personal finance and frugality blogs that I read daily. I find it really encouraging to read about other people's struggles and successes and I've been learning a lot of tips on how to save money and still live a rich life. Here are some of my favorites:
Get Rich Slowly
Frugal Dad
Blogging Away Debt
Simple Living America

3. I've created and revised and revised again my budget. I did in it Excel because I didn't want to spend on a new software program and felt nervous to do it online. Plus I know it well enough to tweak it to all my own needs. But the really successful part of this is that I've kept it updated. I use it to track my bill payments, all of my discretionary spending and my debt snowball. Seeing where my money goes has helped me to tailor the categories and be able to anticipate costs instead of just reacting to them.

4. I have set very specific savings goals. I would like to pay for a wedding in cash when the time comes. In five years, I would like to be fully debt-free and that includes my student loans. Specific goals help me to keep from being tempted to spend on unneeded items. Sometimes it kind of sucks to not buy any new clothes and wear things out before replacing them, but ultimately I know the other goals are more important and plus it's better for the environment anyhow.

5. I have set a very small amount of money in my budget for me to blow on whatever I want each week. It's just $20, but with a little planning that pays for some time out with my friends and maybe a couple of coffees or a little treat.

I am really interested in hearing how other people stop themselves and keep focused on the bigger goals. I love hearing new ideas and tips of how to stay on track.